My Birthday 2014

Celebrated my birthday in June.  Took a leave of absence to do some personal errands and relax supposedly.

But this is my birthday in a glimpse…

Hospital duties in the morning

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free coffee to calm my nerves!?!

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EMG

vials

too many blood samples

 

Office duties in the afternoon (dont have a picture, though)

And birthday celebration in the evening……….finally!!!

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After dinner, Joseph and I met up with Cat, Jane & Butch for some drinks at Agave High Street.

All in all, despite the hospital duties in the morning, I was one happy lady that day!!!

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A Belated Birthday Letter to my Nephew, Yui

My Dearest Yui,

You are now five years old and growing up so fast.

I still remember when my sister, your Mommy, was still conceiving you. I was so excited about you though I didn’t show it. With my meager income then, I bought you those little things that you could use or your Mom could use on you. I dont remember them now but I still do remember that time while choosing them. Haha! But trust me, we were all so looking forward to your birth.

Until that fateful day when we learned of your ‘condition’. I felt like the whole world was crashing on me (and I couldn’t even imagine how your parents felt especially your Mom). I thought that you didn’t (and still dont) deserve that. It came to a point when I questioned God why He would take on you the lessons He wanted us to learn. Coz I didnt think He wanted you to learn a thing at birth. It was totally unfair!

I was in the hospital when your Mom was in labor. I was praying that my sister would not experience the difficulty your delivery. I was praying that everything the doctor said about you wasn’t true. I was praying for a miracle.

I didnt get my miracle.

But two of the three conditions were dismissed, I sort of felt relieved. But the thought of seeing you the first time scared me. No, I wasnt afraid of looking at you because of your physical condition. I was scared of my reaction when I finally did. I didnt want to break down and cry. You didnt deserve that. In fact, no other baby did. I psyched myself to be strong. I didnt have the right to be weak coz it was the last thing your parents needed.

When I saw you at the hospital’s nursery that first time, my heart had filled with so much love and care for you I never thought I was capable of.

Your very existence brought so much joy to me and to our little family. You were a very ‘delicate’ baby, your needs required 100% time and attention.

Back then, I was scared of carrying you. You were so small. Plus the fact that I didnt know how to raise babies and my ignorance would cause you discomfort.

But I did remember feeding you your milk. Several times. Though in all those times, I was extremely careful. Feeding you took time and required my attention. Early in your infancy and while I was feeding you, you were always so cheerful and smiling. The more I thought you didnt deserve it all. But then you were so oblivious to that fact and you would continue to smile at me and every thought was forgotten and all I could think of was how much, as each day passed, my love for you was growing.

What you had gone through as a baby was so much.

But you grew up to be such a sweet and loving kid, Yui. You are always cheerful and your smile and your eyes brighten the day of everyone around you. You always wake me up every time you sleep over but your hugs and kisses and ‘good morning, tita’, ‘i love you, tita’ are what I get in return anyways.

Yui, always remember that Tita Leng loves you so very much. I cant show you how much but I DO.

Yui @ 11 months  On My Birthday

Yui @ 11 months
On My Birthday


Yui's 1st Birhday cake..from Me!!!!

Yui’s 1st Birhday cake..from Me!!!!


calling someone..

calling someone..


Lola Ge's birthday

Lola Ge’s birthday

yui 7

yui 8

yui 13

yui 18

yui 12

yui 17

yui

yui 19

An Open Letter To My Mom on Mother’s Day

Dear Mama,

Its been a while since I gave you my last letter. I dont even remember when it was.

I decided to write you one tonight so you will wake up tomorrow reading this.

For almost 35 years you’ve been both a mom and dad to me and Shobe. It was an enormous responsibility being a mother to two daughters. More so because you took on Papa’s responsibility as well.

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Mama, I dont know if I’ve said it enough, but Thank You! Thank you for taking care of us, loving us. You have have not grown tired of serving us especially me, The Princess.Growing up and until now, I’ve never felt deprived of love because in everything you’ve done, in every decision you’ve made, I knew that you always took us into consideration. Our welfare and well-being have always been your priority.  Even until now, when Shobe has a son of her own and I, myself, am married, we are still the top of your mind.

I hope, Mom, that you are proud of the woman we’ve become.  We are who we are because of you, your love, your example, and your teachings.
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And if at times we’ve wandered off the right path, please dont feel bad and think that you’ve failed. Our actions do not necessarily define you as a mother nor reflect how well you’ve raised us. Our mistakes were, more often than not, simply just lapse of judgment.

We may not like you at times as I am sure you do feel the same about us. We may have arguments and fight sometions. But one thing is sure: we will always love you no matter what.

Now that I am married and responsible to and for my husband first as God has instructed, know that I was a daughter first and will love you always because a mother and daughter love is forever.

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Thank you for your love. Have faith that you raised Shobe and I well. As Shobe takes her journey of motherhood while I take on the role of a wife, we might stumble and fall. Let us be. Only then will we grow and learn. And we dont fear. Coz I know you have our backs.
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I love you, Mama, and happy mother’s day!

I’m Back

I’ve been in absentia for a little while..

Oh, how I missed blogging and reaching out and inspiring those who decided to follow my blog and those who come across my entries.

April was such an amazing month for me hence it was full of happenings that were blog-worthy but now I will try to post one blog at a time..

I’ve wanted badly to start blogging while I was on vacation last month but doing nothing and thinking nothing in particular got the better of me.

But earlier today while browsing Pinterest and saw this I made a decision to open the laptop and start writing..as what I am doing now….

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I want to be as productive as I can and one thing to do that is making myself busy through this blog.

The coming week is expected to be a hectic week for me at work so now I will get down to my business of blogging!

My Gratitude Project

Two or more years on my quest for happiness, I realized that I couldnt be happier if all I saw were the negativity around me. So I decided to commit to thinking positive. To staying positive, I read somewhere to be grateful for all things, big or small.

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Hence my idea of starting my Gratitude Project. It meant to document daily all things I would be grateful for. I was looking for an online tool where to document it. I was thinking of starting a separate blog just for that. Until working on the idea vanished in thin air.

This year I read from a friend’s blog about Gratitude365. Its one of those applications where you can document your gratefulness everyday. Its exclusive for iApple gadgets, though. I searched for a similar app for android. Found one but never write daily.

Now that J gave me his ipad (i think!!!), I decided to purchase the Gratitude365 app. I like this app because it can summarize thru photos in a calendar format your entries for a month. It just feels good looking at it.

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I am just on my 3rd day but I am committing to doing this for the next 363 days and beyond.

Try it and lets share the positive changes it will give us!<

On Moving on

I recently heard of one family ‘news’ about one relative’s moving on, or should I say, moving on too soon (as some say), after the death of his spouse. Plus my father’s 5th death anniversary was recently commemorated so I decided to write a piece of my mind on the said subject.

Fact # 1: It hurts to lose someone. Period.

Regardless if he’s an old friend, a close cousin, a parent, a sister, a son or a wife.

The intensity of pain and grief is subjective. It cannot be measured by how many buckets of tears you shed or how loud you wailed or cried. It might depend on your relationship with the deceased: length of time you two were together, how deep your love was even though the time spent together was short. Or even more, the lack of time together before his passing.

Bottomline is, you will feel the pain of your loss.

Fact # 2: You will ALWAYS and CONTINUE to love your departed long after they are gone.

There’s one line from the movie, If Only, that put it simply but aptly:

Death doesn’t put an end to love.

True.

We dont stop loving our loved one because he passes away. Neither do we forget.

We just learn to live peacefully with the fact that the person is gone and we only have memories to cherish.

Fact # 3: No one can ever replace our departed.

And I believe us, the ones left behind, even try.

We might meet another partner or feel the mother/father influence and care in someone but it doesnt mean we are replacing our departed. No one can. Because the relationship by the two of you is unique and the feelings you shared to each other cannot be replicated.

Also, refer to Fact#2.

Fact # 4: Each of us has our own way of coping.

How we grieve and how we move on is different to each one of us. One might cry for as long as he can while the other will resume his life as if nothing has happened.

One might grieve for a year or two while one can do it in a matter of weeks.

However we do it or how long, we can never judge the one left behind. We dont have the right to speak about how the family is coping because we were never in their shoes. We dont know how they felt or how they are feeling or how they are hurting. Who are we to speak and impose on how they live their lives and what is the ‘right’ way of moving on.

Fact # 5: The time will come that we will all move on.

After the denial, grieving and acceptance comes the moving on stage.

And if that time comes, lets us be glad for that person because he can finally feel happiness and find peace. Because going through that kind of pain is never easy (refer to Fact#1).

My Dream Honeymoon

Just a couple of months after we started preparing for the wedding, I recall raising the topic of honeymoon. From posts, blog entries and forums I had read, this part of the preparation is often overlooked and not prioritized. So I talked to J about it so we could avail of promo fares and early bird discounts. But just like most, it wasnt on top of J’s list.

And now a few weeks before the wedding, we are kinda cramming and on the lookout for cheap airfares. However, no more discounted fares are available on our travel date.

We are just considering a joy ride in the North or one luxury resort in Puerto Galera.

If it were just me and no constraints in finances, here are my dream honeymoon destinations:

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I wish someone will sponsor an all-expense honeymoon trip to one of these places!!! Lol!!

Project: Small Act Everyday – Day 7

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This is the last of my post for this week’s project.  The small acts we have done for the last six days are for other people.  But did you notice that as you do each of the act, you feel good, energized and inspired yourself.  Yes.  Because this project is not only for you to change the world in your own small ways but also to make changes yourself.  And to cap ofc this week’s project, our act for today is for yourself.  Look at yourself at the mirror and tell yourself above.  As you look and feel good yourself, its more likely you’ll continue our small project.  And when you do, you will affect one person and that person will inspire another until we inspire a lot!!

Thank you for supporting my first weekly project and I do hope you learn a thing or two and get motivated.

Lets carry this on!

Project: Small Act Everyday – Day 6

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I feel I need to explain this one.  On day 2, we  made someone smile.  For today, we are going to smile!  You know why? Because your smile can mean the world to someone.  So go and show your widest and biggest smile today!!! 🙂

Project: Small Act Everyday – Day 5

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